We should have bagged Teide on our recce trip the night before. At least before the rangers arrived via the cable car the following morning. The permits from Puerto weren't really an option, considering we arrived after the office closed on the Friday and our itinerary required an early departure for El Hierro on Sunday morning.
The pre-ascent thought that we could avoid the watchful eyes of the rangers (complete with whistles for anyone daring to stray from the path) was for sure misguided but we did it anyway; by descending 100 metres or so and taking a north-easterly approach via lava fields that were just a bit of a challenge in 25ºC temperatures at 3400m. More than once I fell and bruised a leg. I dropped lower than Rob and Bob and fell behind, but made my way up gradually to the summit slopes, where I proceeded to take three steps forward and slide two steps back on very loose volcanic shale.
The summit finally came. Despite septuagenarian status, Bob was already up and on his way down the tourist path, while Rob was sunbathing on the summit rocks, obviously with a head lightened by all the sulphur dioxide. Very hazy views, though Roque de la Muchachos was peeking on La Palma in the distant north-west.
And down we went, still blindly thinking we could avoid those pesky rangers. Bob had impressed the sentries with his advanced age and had been allowed to pass. Not so the forty-somethings, and duly detained we were. One was admiring the watch altimeter and commenting on its accuracy. The other was supposedly phoning superiors and preparing the EU summons for flagrantly flaunting the permit laws. It was all a bit surreal to be honest. Get yourself a permit and feel free to walk up rocky volcanic paths in jeans and flip-flops. It's surprising that there aren't a steady stream of casualties from the tourists coming unstuck on the summit rocks without boots.
The finale approached as we were directed to a waiting area below the main peak, while they decided on a strategy for fleecing us for as much as they could get. We gathered our Euros and came up with about £17 (about what it would have cost us to get to Puerto and back) and I volunteered to wait, sending Rob and Bob off back down the mountain.
No sign of anyone after 15 minutes or so, and just as I was about to set off down myself, along came the ranger. And looking very disappointed with the 25 Euros I was offering. And why had Rob gone down? I claimed he had to assist our ailing veteran who was unwell and needed company (I lied -Bob was fine). In the nicest possible fashion, I was told that I faced a fine of 6000 Euros. Or was it 60,000? I forget, but I decided not to upset him and uttered a few oh dears and blimey, as much as that? in his ear. I told him that all my travel money was back at the apartment. He must have sensed that I was lying, as he asked to search the day-sack. I told him firmly that was out of bounds but promised never to set foot on his mountain again without a permit and he duly let me go. He got his 25 Euros, but I didn't think it wise to ask for a receipt to claim back the tax.
You can avoid those rangers (and the permits) by staying at the Refugio de Altavista (3270m) and getting an early start. Get down from the summit and past the cable car station by 9am when they arrive.
